In The Aftermath
by Victoria Meredith
Summary: Damar learns how his rebellion has effected the people of Deep Space Nine and comes to terms with being one of the heroes.


Title: In The Aftermath  
Author: Victoria Meredith  
Contact: vmeredith@in-con.com  
Series: DS9  
Part: 1/1  
Rating: G  
Codes: Dmr, G, K, and others  
Summary: Damar learns how his rebellion has effected the people of Deep Space Nine and comes to terms with being one of the heroes. Set directly after "Tacking Into The Wind" and during the teaser of "Extreme Measures" (assumes Damar was with Garak, Kira and Odo when they brought the Breen weapon to DS9).  
Archive: Anyone who'd like it. Just let me know where it's archived, please.  
Disclaimer: All characters and settings are owned by Paramount. This is a not for profit creative endeavor.

  


In The Aftermath  
Victoria Meredith

  


So much pain, Garak thought sadly. A ship of agony, physically and in the soul. Finally they arrived at Deep Space Nine with their hard won Dominion ship carrying the coveted Breen weapon and the sense of relief that swept through the four people on the bridge did little ease their suffering. Garak sent the standard greetings while Damar focused his traumatized mind on piloting the ship to the docking ring. Kira remained, as she had during the trip from Kelvas, at Odo's side, her dark eyes shining with pain and love, worry and strength. And Odo lay against the bulkhead of bridge in quivering agony, his breath ragged, his desiccated form curled up on itself in pain.

Those around Garak hurt more than he did. Garak could make no claim to pain except that it hurt him to see these three people he had grown to respect suffering and him helpless to do anything about it. It pained him especially to see Odo lying there in agony and so obviously close to death. It reminded Garak too much of the time he had caused Odo nearly the same amount of horrible pain in torture. At that time, Garak had respected Odo, even admired him. Now that respect and admiration had grown to fondness. In that fondness, Garak hated seeing Odo in such pain. He hated the thought that the Changeling could die.

Whatever pain Garak felt in his heart for Odo, he knew it was a hundred times worse for Kira. Garak felt his pain through fondness but Kira felt hers through deep, heartfelt love. The bond of love between the Bajoran and the Shapeshifter was so clear and strong that it was touching to see them together, even in this moment of shared pain.

Even Damar seemed to make note of that. Throughout the journey to the station, Garak noticed Damar continually looking back at the couple on the floor, his stony expression softening. Then internal agony came into Damar's light blue eyes and he looked away as though a thousand thoughts and a thousand emotions rushed through his mind all at once. Damar had been like this since the start of the mission, silent and withdrawn, his thoughts deep on the painful loses and difficult issues he had been forced to face.

In seeing Kira and Odo together, did Damar think about the wife and child he had just lost? Garak thought that he must for on occasion, during that long, hard journey, Garak had seen something he never thought he'd ever see in Damar. Garak saw tears welling in his eyes. Damar never succumbed to them. No, he obviously fought against them, maintaining that hard scowl of his. But his eyes, as always, gave him away. In the past, Garak had seen hatred in them and rage, uncertainty and confusion, resolution and strength. And now Garak knew within Damar there was a great torrent of tears of grief and pain. A torrent that needed to be released in privacy. Damar wouldn't likely to have that chance for privacy anytime soon.

Whatever pain Damar felt, he deserved. Garak still felt conflicted about Damar. Ziyal's murderer. Like Kira, like Damar, Garak was more than capable of putting aside his feelings for the sake of their mutual cause. Yet putting aside feelings didn't negate those feelings. He hated Damar for killing Ziyal but that hatred was muted with understanding. As a Cardassian and as a former member of the Obsidian Order, Garak knew Damar's motivation for killing Ziyal perfectly.

Garak was in no position to judge Damar. Too many things in Garak's past mirrored Damar's murder of Ziyal. Murders Garak had committed in upholding his vision of the Cardassian State and the Obsidian Order. He had killed out of loyalty and patriotism and so had Damar, however misplaced that loyalty and patriotism had been.

Still, he hated Damar and when he first joined Damar's rebellion, Garak had indulged in cold-hearted fantasies of revenge against him. He had imagined that, perhaps when the war was over and Cardassia was free, he would find some suitable means to enact Damar's assassination. Those had been entertaining thoughts but Garak now knew he would never act on them.

If Cardassia gained their freedom from the Dominion, that freedom would come because Damar had taken his courageous stand against them. No, Garak knew he could never take revenge against such a man and he set his desire for revenge aside. Now, mixed in with his hatred, Garak felt things he never anticipated feeling towards Damar. Loyalty and respect, admiration and hope.

Damar was his leader. For years, Garak alone, exiled and independent, had no one to point to as leader. And never had he expected that Damar, of all people, would prove himself worthy of leadership. Before Garak joined the rebellion as Damar's advisor, he had never actually met Damar. Garak had only known Damar by Intelligence reports and records of speeches and proclamations, by gossip and innuendo and by reputation, none of which had given Garak any faith in Damar's leadership ability. Damar had been known to be a hard and ruthless man, full of hatred and arrogance, who had been weak and debauched during his collaboration with the Dominion. But Damar began to prove himself worthy from the first step of his rebellion.

Damar, to the considerable amazement of Garak, Kira and Odo, had climbed up on the high road and persevered on that road with an unexpected strength, pushing past obstacles with an almost casual courage. In that courage and strength and considerable earnestness, Garak found a worthy leader and a fascinating puzzle of a man. The more Damar revealed unexpected layers of himself, the more Garak wondered how much more there was to him.

Through his sense of loyalty and earned respect, Damar's pain of grief touched Garak. To lose a child, a son, in such a brutal manner, killed for no other reason than to punish Damar for his rebellion. A very young child, as Garak recalled and it saddened him to think that Damar's son would never grow up to know the remarkable man his father was becoming. The son would never know the struggles Damar had endured to become worthy of the leadership of a new Cardassia and to become a father worthy of his lost son's love and pride. That the son would never see the future Cardassia that his father was beginning to dream for all of Cardassia's children.

To become the man Garak knew Damar had the potential of becoming, Damar needed the fires of pain to burn away his weaknesses, his false perceptions and the corrupting influences that Dukat had once held over his life. During their harrowing mission to gain the Breen weapon, the fires of pain had nearly succeeded and that had forced Damar to take a huge step forward in his continued growth as a man and brought him the clarity of unvarnished truth that Damar would need to use to build the new Cardassia. Damar had very few weakness and false perceptions and corrupting influences left within him. He needed time to heal and he needed to grieve but now his tears would flow clear, unclouded by falsity and delusions.

Damar guided the Dominion ship to the docking ring with the ease of a born pilot and Garak arranged an emergency transport for Odo and Kira into the Infirmary. Damar took off the headset as he and Garak watched Kira and Odo disappear from the bridge in the radiant glimmer of transport. Damar stared at the empty space on the bridge.

"You think Doctor Bashir will be able to help him?" Damar asked quietly.

"Doctor Bashir is the best the Federation has to offer," Garak replied. "If anyone can help Odo, it will be him."

"This disease came on him very fast," Damar said. "The Founder has had this illness for months now and she was never like that."

"Well, they are shapeshifters, after all," Garak said. "Able to hide the extent of their disease until it becomes too severe. And Odo is a proud, independent man. Not one to reveal his weaknesses. But, you're right. It did come on fast. He's been shapeshifting too often and he told me that has accelerated his disease."

Damar frowned and Garak saw, in the myriad of emotions the man carried within him, that guilt had risen to the surface.

"It was Odo's choice," Garak assured him. "He knew the consequences and accepted them as necessary."

"It wasn't necessary," Damar growled and Garak saw anger mix with the guilt. "He should have told me. I would have found other ways for him to help us than by shapeshifting."

"Odo decided that shapeshifting was the best way to help you."

"I require my advisors to be honest with me, Mr. Garak, and that includes the nature of their medical conditions. He shouldn't have hidden this from me."

"Perhaps not," Garak said. "But that was his decision."

"Then he made the wrong decision," Damar snapped.

"Well, I certainly hope Odo recovers from this disease so that you will have the opportunity to dress him down for it."

Damar grimaced then sighed. "I'm overreacting."

"A bit."

"It's been a trying day."

"Now that's an understatement."

"We'll need to borrow a runabout to get back to our base."

Garak nodded. "I'm sure Captain Sisko will allow us the use of one."

"Good. Take care of it. I want a look at this infamous weapon now that I have a chance. The atmospherics should have cleared the gas away by now."

"You don't want to talk to Captain Sisko yourself?" Garak asked.

Damar stiffened. "I suppose I should," he said slowly. "I will. Before we leave."

"Very well," Garak replied and left the bridge. Interesting that Damar seemed reluctant to speak to Sisko and he wondered what caused him to be so hesitant in meeting with his most important ally.

  


**********************

  


Damar studied the Breen device in the Engineering room. So this was the weapon that brought the mighty Federation to a standstill. Well, it could have just as easily brought his rebellion to a standstill as well. He knew that they had been lucky that they had only lost a handful of ships to the Breen weapon, though at the moment, a handful of ships was about all that he had. Once the Federation figured out how to counteract the weapon, Damar hoped they would share the technology with him. No reason that they wouldn't but he'd have to talk to Sisko about that.

Damar didn't want to talk to Sisko. He didn't want to be on this ship or on this station. Terok Nor only dredged up memories of the worst day of his life, a day that had ended with him in position as the leader of Cardassia, a position he had never earned, sought or deserved. No, that day was no longer the worst day. That day of madness and treachery and defeat was now the second worst day of his life. This day, a day of agonizing loss and spirit-shredding self-realizations, undoubtedly was now the worst.

Damar wished he could be at his base, in his quarters, in the dark and alone where he could finally give way to the awful grief and pain that continually battered at his psyche. Siantira. Eldur. Gone. He felt the tears threaten again and he forced them back. He had to grieve but now wasn't the time.

He didn't want to talk to Sisko. What could he possibly say to the man? That he was sorry that it took him so long to finally see the truth of things, the truth that the Dominion had never been his ally, that from the first day of Cardassia's alliance with them, the Dominion had been in fact his enemy? That he was sorry that millions of Federation troops had died in a war Damar had relentlessly fought against them? That he was sorry he had been the cause of the losses of such worlds as Betazed to the Dominion? It had been his strategies, after all, that had brought the Dominion many of those victories.

Apologies really didn't mean much in the face of all of that. Regrets meant even less. Forgiveness was a thing Damar would never have. His hands were stained with too much blood for that.

Though he didn't want to, he knew he had to talk to Sisko. There wasn't any way around that. If he didn't, his ally would take understandable offense at his poor manners. He was the leader of the rebellion Sisko supported and Sisko's support deserved acknowledgement and gratitude from Damar. Talking to Sisko would be awkward and Damar could only hope that he wouldn't make a complete fool of himself. Being a diplomat had to be the worse part of being the leader of his people.

And after he talked to Sisko, Damar knew he'd have to find Kira and talk to her as well. That would be even more difficult. It was hard to think about Kira without feeling bitterness and resentment. What kind of people? Oh, yes. He would hear that mantra in his head for sometime to come. For all the necessity of it, and Damar knew it had been necessary for him to hear it and to learn the lesson she wanted to teach him, it was still a cruel thing she had done. She had thrown his grief back into his face. That's what he got for lamenting in front of her. He should have known better than to be vulnerable around her.

Still, he had to express his gratitude to her. With Odo so close to death, Kira would stay at his side and it would probably be a long time before Damar saw her again if ever. Considering the size of his tiny force of men and ships, his rebellion had known many victories and those victories had come because of Kira. For all of his resentment, Damar did feel grateful and the least he could do was to express that to her. He'd just have to swallow his pride yet again and thank her. Luckily, Damar thought with grim humor, he didn't have much more pride to swallow.

"Legate Damar?" 

Damar turned away from the weapon device at the sound of his name. A pale-skinned, curly haired human stepped forward, wariness on his face. That was to be expected and one of the reasons Damar didn't want to spend time on the station. He knew everyone there would look at him that way, as though they weren't sure what to make of him, their once ruthless enemy. None of them trusted him and why should they?

The voice sounded familiar but Damar couldn't place the face.

"Have we met?" Damar asked.

"Once," the human nodded. "Chief O'Brien."

"Ah, yes." The memory came to him. O'Brien the Klingon. The only time Damar had seen this man face to face had been on that fool's mission of Sisko's to infiltrate Ty'Go'Kor to expose a Changeling plot. That fool's mission had turned out well but Damar remembered making a fool of himself at the time. Wanting to launch an orbital assault against Ty'Go'Kor with a single ship. How ridiculous. What a child he had been back then.

"So that's it, is it?" O'Brien gestured at the awkward blocky device fused into the weapon banks of the ship. "Looks a bit of a jumbled mess."

"Yes," Damar nodded. "Breen aesthetic design leaves a lot to be desired."

O'Brien snorted as he peered at the device. "I have to agree with you there. I don't think I've ever seen an uglier ship than the Breen's. Now that we have their weapon, I'm sure we'll be able to figure out how to take out those eyesores."

"My hope as well," Damar said. "If you'll excuse me."

"Sure," O'Brien said, not taking his attention from the device.

Damar moved through the ship. Already Star Fleet crewmen were hauling away the bodies of the Jem'Hadar and Breen who had died from the neurozine gas Garak had released into the ship once the weapon had been installed. He wondered what the crewmen would think when they found Rosot's body on the bridge. That he had been a casualty, no doubt, in their struggle to take over the ship. And in truth Rosot was. And he had been a casualty of himself.

Damar grieved for Rosot but didn't feel guilty about killing him. Rosot had forced Damar's hand and threatened the lives of his advisors and their mission. Damar remembered how surprised Garak looked when Damar chose Kira over Rosot but, unexpectedly, Kira hadn't looked surprised at all. Only sad and a little understanding.

He had loved Rosot but Rosot never had the wherewithal to put aside his hatred for the good of their cause. Nothing Damar had done or said convinced Rosot of that necessity and his friend's weakness had troubled Damar long before he had pulled the trigger. The future Damar began to envision for Cardassia would require Cardassians to put aside past animosities for the sake of peace. If Damar, of all people, could understand that, why didn't Rosot? But he knew Rosot wouldn't have accepted the future Damar wanted for his people. Damar's dreams of the future didn't include conquest anymore. In that shattering moment of self-realization after Kira challenged him, Damar knew there was little in Cardassia's past he wanted to resurrect. Now he only wanted peace and the friendship of his allies. 

He left the ship, passing through the airlock, and stepped foot on Terok Nor itself. Deep Space Nine, he reminded himself. The least he could do was to honor Sisko by referring to the station by its Federation name. It didn't belong to Cardassia anymore and Damar knew it never would again. Just one more adjustment he'd have to make in his way of thinking. Should be used it by now, Damar groused to himself. He had had to make adjustments in his way of thinking from the moment he realized that the Dominion was his true enemy.

Damar felt tired and everything ached down to his soul. The events of the day left him feeling raw and vulnerable as though he had been flayed and left naked and bleeding. And he had the strangest sense that he really wasn't sure just who he was anymore. He had killed a part of himself when he killed Rosot. A part of him died when his wife and son died. What was left of him now?

Damar moved through the station and into the Promenade. It didn't help his mood that nearly everyone he passed on the Promenade stared at him, no doubt shocked to see a Cardassian soldier walking among them, and he tried very hard not to scowl. He was these people's ally and he knew he had to continue to prove himself worthy of trust.

How he once strutted on this Promenade, so supreme in his arrogance as Dukat's right hand, sneering at every Bajoran and Jem'Hadar and Vorta he would pass by, never bothering to hide his contempt of anyone not Cardassian. Damar had once walked this place as if he had owned it, greeting his friends to swap crude jokes and bitter complaints. Juggling all the duties Dukat kept piling up on him and prideful of his competence in handling all of them. Drinking nightly in Quark's. Doing whatever he could to avoid dealing directly with Weyoun. That was one habit Damar should have stuck to instead of going into collaboration with the loathsome little Vorta. Amazing that for a short time during the occupation of this station, Damar actually believed he had been living some of the best days of his life. What a child he had been. What a fool.

Walking through the crowds of people, feeling not arrogant but vulnerable, feeling not contempt but shame, Damar made his way to the turbo-lift that would take him to the Operations Center. He stalked past Quark's Bar and earned a double take from Quark himself at the window that opened out onto the Promenade.

"Damar!" Quark called to him and Damar stiffened. 

Quark. Not exactly his favorite person in the universe. And calling out his name didn't help matters. If the people around Damar didn't know who he was before, they certainly did now. Now people were stopping and staring at him, whispering to each other. Great.

"Quark," Damar turned to greet the Ferengi toad, his manners kicking in.

"Come on in," Quark gestured to the bar beyond the window. "Have some kanar. On the house."

"On the house?" Damar asked skeptically as he moved closer to the window.

"For old times' sake," Quark smiled as if in friendship.

"Right," Damar shook his head. Old times' sake indeed. What a fool he had been to think he could trust Quark during the Dominion occupation. Well, at least Damar always learned from his mistakes. He consoled himself with the fact that he never made a fool of himself twice in the same way.

"You look a little down," Quark noted as though actually concerned. "I'd think you'd be happy. I heard that you captured a Jem'Hadar ship carrying the Breen weapon. You're helping Star Fleet to get back into the war because of that. That's cause for celebration."

"I don't drink anymore, Quark," Damar told him. "You'll have to celebrate without me."

"You?" Quark looked incredulous. "You don't drink anymore? I never expected that from you. You love kanar."

"I loved it too much," Damar admitted.

"Well, I do have some posas juice in stock. Very refreshing. A taste of home?"

"No, thank you," Damar said.

Quark looked disappointed. "You sure you don't want to come in and sit for a minute?"

"Why?"

"You're the famous Cardassian rebel fresh from another victory against the Dominion. You're a favorite topic of conversation around here."

"Am I," Damar said flatly, knowing better than to believe this.

"Sure. People are always coming up to me asking if I've heard that my old friend Damar has taken out another Dominion shipyard or weapons plant. The thing is that with the Federation and Romulans out of the war and that Gowron making an idiot of himself, the people around here know you're the only one out there achieving any sort of victory against the Dominion. It's helped morale for them to know that at least someone is making a successful stand."

"My successes have been small and slight compared to the might of the Dominion," Damar pointed out.

"They all know that," Quark nodded. "But a victory is a victory and they like that you're so relentless. Your victories have been adding up."

"They have," Damar nodded.

"I'm sure you have many interesting stories the people would love hear," Quark said. "Why, I'll bet you could entertain them for hours."

"I see. The longer I keep your clients entertained, the longer they'll stay and buy drinks from you."

"There is that," Quark shrugged.

"I have more important things to do," Damar said.

"I guess you do at that," Quark said. "Well, keep up the good work."

"I will."

Damar couldn't help but smile as he moved away. The Ferengi was transparent but sitting around telling stories about his successes to an interested audience did sound like a fun way to spend an evening. Too bad his rebellion didn't leave him any time for fun. The famous Cardassian rebel, was he? His ego was probably getting in the way again but Damar found that rather gratifying.

He got into the turbo-lift and ordered it to take him to the Operations Center. His nerves fluttered a bit in his stomach at the thought of talking with Sisko. Damar stepped into Ops and looked around. The last time he had been in Ops, he had struggled to maintain order during the chaotic and panicked evacuation of the Dominion/Cardassian forces while his mind reeled with anguish and confusion after seeing the strong and mighty Dukat disintegrate before his eyes. 

The memory of that day only made him feel vulnerable and shamed again. He remembered that while he had issued the evacuation orders, he had felt so frustrated and confused and enraged over their defeat. But now he knew their defeat had saved the Alpha Quadrant from complete conquest by the Dominion. That perspective helped ease the sharp bitterness of his memory. Better now to create new memories of this place, memories not of war and hatred.

A Bajoran officer wearing a carefully neutral expression on her face stepped towards him. Damar forced his expression to remain equally neutral though he tried not to appear too hard or arrogant.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I would like to speak with Captain Sisko," Damar said. "Please tell him Legate Damar is here."

She blinked at this and mixed in with her wariness came an unexpected touch of respect in her expression. "He's not here right now, Legate Damar."

"He is in the Infirmary," a familiar voice rumbled behind him. Damar turned to see Worf standing near him.

"Commander Worf," Damar greeted him. "It is good to see you again."

"And you," Worf replied. "I had hoped for the opportunity to express my gratitude to you, Legate Damar, for saving my and Lieutenant Dax's lives. I owe you a debt I wish to repay."

"You are my ally," Damar said. "It was the least I could do."

Worf frowned. "When we first arrived on Cardassia as prisoners, you didn't consider us your allies."

"I had a shift in my perspective in the interim," Damar admitted.

"That must have been a significant shift," Worf noted.

"It was. It changed everything."

"Including the direction of the war," Worf nodded. "You are owed a debt for that as well."

"Not in the least," Damar said. "I am the one who owes, not the other way round. Commander Worf, you really don't owe me anything. I am a Cardassian. Do you really think that I freed you and Lieutenant Dax out of altruism or compassion? I used you as my messenger. Besides, you gave me my first real laugh in months. How could I possibly kill you after that?"

Worf's eyes grew humored. "I understand, though at the time I did not. But whatever your motivations were, I am honor bound to repay my debt."

"We're allies," Damar said. "I did what was expected of an ally, nothing more. Once I realized that the Dominion was my enemy, making the Federation my ally, I couldn't in good conscious allow you to be killed for the benefit of the Dominion. Besides, it was worth it just to see the look on Weyoun's face when I told him you had escaped. All I wanted to do was to laugh in his face over it."

"That must have been a difficult constraint," Worf rumbled in humor.

"Well, I as good as did, I suppose," Damar said, smiling in memory of Weyoun's panic at having to tell the Founder.

"Legate Damar," Worf said, still humored. "Do you not think that having a Klingon warrior owe you a personal debt is an advantageous thing?"

Damar barked a laugh. "You are right. Some day it just may well be, though I can't imagine how at the moment."

"I have some influence with the new High Chancellor," Worf told him. "Perhaps after the war, I can help forge peace between our peoples."

"The Klingons are interested in peace with Cardassia?" Damar asked in surprise.

"After this war, I believe all of us will be interested in peace," Worf said.

"Very true," Damar sighed. "My people need peace very much. We've gone too long without it. If you are willing to help negotiate peace, then I will consider that a fair repayment of debt if that will satisfy your honor."

"It will."

"Who is the new High Chancellor, then?" Damar asked.

"Martok is now the Klingon High Chancellor," Worf told him, a gleam of pride in his eyes.

"Then Gowron . . .?"

"Was defeated in honorable combat," Worf said.

Damar fought to keep from smiling at this bit of news. He hated Gowron. Then again, he also hated Martok. Well, he hated Klingons in general for the war that had nearly destroyed the Cardassian Union. The war that had driven Dukat into making the alliance with the Dominion. The Founders had covertly instigated that war, so he shouldn't really blame the Klingons except that they had been far too eager for any excuse to fight against his people. And their excuse had been the flimsy notion that the Founders had infiltrated the Cardassian civilian government. All Cardassians had found it insulting that the Klingons didn't believe they were capable of civilian rule on their own.

Perhaps, Damar considered, if he reinstated civilian rule after the war he'd prove the Klingons wrong. The old military dictatorship not only oppressed other worlds like Bajor but also oppressed his own people as well. That State had tolerated the murder of innocent women and children and had given those orders. What kind of people? Cardassians but never again. Not his people and not himself. Never again if he could help it.

Civilian rule. His people would probably welcome that again. He'd have to give it some thought.

"Thank you for the news," Damar told Worf. "Please excuse me."

Damar reentered the turbo-lift. He hated Klingons but that really was racism and racism was an ignoble thing. He knew he could overcome his racism towards Klingons if that meant the security of future peace. After all, he had gotten over his racism towards Bajorans while working with Kira. If he could that, he knew he could give up his hatred of Klingons. Once he understood the true nature of his hatred had been based on little more than indoctrination and prejudices, giving up those hatreds really wasn't all that difficult. His encounter with Worf left Damar feeling rather hopeful for the future of peace.

He stepped off the turbo-lift and into the Promenade and heard a voice calling his name. Damar looked around and saw a tall, dark-skinned young human hurrying towards him. Damar recognized him. Jake Sisko. Knowing it would be too rude to ignore the young man, Damar stood and watched Jake approach. He had known Jake from the Dominion occupation and Damar remembered that he had been nothing but a bully to Jake. Damar sighed. That's what he had been, a fool, a child and a bully. He felt ashamed in that knowledge. This self-realization he had been going through all day since Kira challenged him was getting tiresome.

As he watched Jake come towards him, Damar noticed that the people on the Promenade, Bajorans and humans, Klingons and Vulcans and scores of other races, stared at him again. Whispered to each other again. Some of them pointing him out to their friends. The sooner away from this station the better, his mind groused, suddenly finding the fact that he was a famous Cardassian rebel not gratifying at all. He reminded himself not to scowl. If he really wanted peace with these people, he had better act it. Then a young Star Fleet officer blinked in surprise at him as he passed then smiled at Damar as if in greeting. Damar gave him a polite nod, not really sure what to think of that. A Star Fleet officer smiling at him as though pleased Damar was there among them?

"Mr. Sisko," Damar greeted Jake as Jake came to stand before him on the busy Promenade.

Jake looked awkward, nervous, and wary. Damar knew that he had intimated the young man during the occupation. That's what bullies did, after all.

"How have you been?" Damar asked, making a stab at being friendly by smiling at Jake.

"Good, thanks," Jake replied. "I'd like to interview you if that's all right?"

"Interview me?" Damar asked.

Jake gestured with the data padd in his hand. "I'm still a reporter for the Star Fleet News service," Jake reminded him. "And I'd like an exclusive interview with you."

"You want to do a story on me?" Damar asked. "Why?"

"The people of the Federation are very curious about you," Jake told him. "They want to know what you're like. Why you rebelled. Your thoughts on the war and the Dominion now that you're our ally."

"I see," Damar said, mystified by the idea that people in the Federation were curious about him. Maybe Quark had told the truth. Maybe Damar and his rebellion really were a favorite topic of conversation. "How long would this take?" 

"Probably an hour or so," Jake smiled, eagerness replacing his nervousness. "I have a lot of questions."

Damar shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mr. Sisko, but I don't have that much time. I need to speak with your father, then get back to my base. I've been away too long as it is."

Jake looked disappointed. "I'm filing a report on the Breen weapon you brought us. Do you have a few minutes to speak about that?"

"That was . . . a very difficult mission," Damar said. "I prefer not to talk about it."

"I heard that Odo's disease became severe on that mission," Jake said with understanding. "It must be hard that you're losing one of your advisors."

"Odo's illness distresses me," Damar said. "He's been very valuable to our cause. I hope he will recover soon."

Jake made some quick notes on his padd, though Damar didn't know why the Federation people would be interested in his thoughts about Odo.

"I'd think you'd be happy that you successfully captured the weapon," Jake said. "But you don't seem to be. Why?"

"I'm happy with that success," Damar corrected. "I'm glad that this will give Star Fleet and the Romulans the opportunity to reenter the war. It's just that some things occurred during the mission, like Odo's illness, that were very difficult."

"Such as?" Jake asked.

Damar sighed, feeling grief well up within him again. "On the onset of the mission, I learned that the Dominion had found and killed my wife and son in retribution for my rebellion."

Jake's face fell. "Oh, I'm sorry," Jake said with great sincerity. "That's awful."

"It is," Damar said softly.

"I apologize," Jake said. "No wonder you don't want to talk about the mission."

"It's alright," Damar assured him. "I know you're just trying to do your job."

"So, you learned about this before the mission but you still went through with it."

"The mission was of vital importance," Damar said. "With the Federation and the Romulans out of the war and with the Klingons staging suicide assaults for some reason, frankly I was feeling a bit lonely being the only one making successful strikes against the Dominion. And my strikes certainly weren't enough. Now that the Breen weapon is in Star Fleet's hands and Martok is back in command of the Klingon fleet, I'm hopeful that the war will turn in our favor once again."

Jake made more notes on his padd. "So you approve of Martok being the High Chancellor?"

"I'm sure Chancellor Martok couldn't care less if I approved or not," Damar smiled. "But yes, he seems a better choice than Gowron. I don't understand why the Klingons kept attacking heavily fortified positions with such light forces. It was as if they purposely wanted defeat, which certainly isn't like the Klingons. Do you know why they were being so foolish?"

"It was a political power struggle between Gowron and Martok," Jake told him. "Gowron wanted to discredit Martok by forcing him to take heavy losses in battle."

"At the cost of his fellow Klingons' lives," Damar shook his head in disapproval. "And at the cost of the balance of the war. It is good that Gowron is gone."

After Jake took more notes, he asked, "Did Odo's illness jeopardize the mission?"

"No. His role in the mission had been complete when he was overtaken by the disease."

"What role did he play?"

"He shapeshifted into the Founder as part of the ruse to get us onto the bridge of the Jem'Hadar ship. That allowed us to take over the bridge without the rest of the ship knowing about it. Then we waited until the Breen completed the installation of the weapon, flooded the lower decks with neurozine gas then took the ship and brought it here."

"Neurozine gas? Isn't that deadly?"

"It is."

"And the Jem'Hadar and the Breen had no idea you were on the bridge?"

Damar smiled. "Commander Kira does a rather good Vorta impersonation."

Jake smiled as well as he took down more notes. "This is great. Thank you."

"I'm glad I could help you," Damar said. "You should make it clear in your report that this was Commander Kira's mission. I supported her and gave my resources to it, but she's the one who deserves the credit for it."

"Ah, Legate Damar," Damar heard Garak's voice and he turned to see his colleague approach. "There you are. Hello, Jake."

"Hi, Garak," Jake greeted him.

Garak looked to Damar. "Where have you been? Commander Kira and I are ready to depart."

"Commander Kira?" Damar asked. "She's not staying here with Odo?"

"Apparently, she and Odo decided it was best for her to go back with you."

"I'm glad that she wants to continue to help us, but Odo needs her."

"I'm not sure what was said," Garak told him. "But I don't think Odo wants her with him right now. As I said, he's a proud, independent man. It's difficult for him to be seen in this weakened state."

"I can imagine," Damar said. "I still need to speak with Captain Sisko. I'll meet you on the runabout."

"Very well," Garak said and left his side.

"Well, thanks for your time," Jake told him. "I hope we'll have another opportunity to do a full interview."

With a smile, Jake thrust out his hand to him and Damar shook it.

"Keep up the good work," Jake said.

"I will," Damar replied then walked away towards the Infirmary.

He arrived in the Infirmary to find Chief O'Brien speaking in a hushed voice with a young, dark haired human. They both looked up at his approach and both looked startled to see him.

"Excuse me," Damar said. "I'm looking for Captain Sisko."

"You just missed him," O'Brien said. "I think he went to Ops."

Damar gave a wry smile. "It appears I'm playing chase the sual here."

"I beg your pardon?" the other human asked.

"No matter where I go, I keep missing Captain Sisko," Damar said.

"I'll page him," O'Brien offered. "And let him know you're looking for him."

"Thank you."

O'Brien moved to a comm unit.

"Legate Damar, isn't it?" the other human said with curiosity. "I'm Doctor Bashir."

"It's good to meet you," Damar said. "How's Odo?"

Bashir shook his head. "Stable at the moment. I'm still trying to find a cure, I'm afraid, though I might have some leads."

"I hope so," Damar said.

"We all do," Bashir replied.

"I'd like to see him."

"I don't think that would be a good idea. He needs to rest."

"Only for a minute, Doctor. I need to thank him for the support he's given me."

"All right. Only for a minute. He's in there."

Damar nodded to the doctor then moved into a private room. He heard Odo's ragged breath and felt heartsick. Odo had done so much, had sacrificed so much for Damar's cause. Truly, he was a good man, a man Damar might have learned more from if he opened himself more to his advisors and gotten to know Odo better. Even after nearly two months of working with Odo, Odo was still very much a stranger to him.

"Legate Damar," Odo said in a ragged voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to thank you for you help," Damar said.

"Ah," Odo nodded. "You're welcome. I'm sorry I can't do more."

"You've done more than enough," Damar assured him. "More than you should have done, apparently. Garak told me all the shapeshifting you've done has accelerated your disease. Frankly, I'm not pleased that you hid this from me, but Garak suggested that I wait until you're cured before I dress you down for it."

Odo gave a rasping chuckle. "I appreciate that. But my illness is not your concern."

"That is where you are wrong," Damar said quietly. "It concerns me very much. Odo, I haven't felt the need to assert my authority over my advisors or to pull rank, but while you were with my organization, I was your commanding officer. And as your commanding officer, I had the right to know your medical condition."

"Yes," Odo sighed. "You did have that right."

"Your support has meant a great deal to me. But your well being means even more. I will continue to hold out hope for your recovery."

"As do I," Odo's pain-filled eyes studied Damar. "You can be a very thoughtful man at times, Legate Damar. I hadn't expected that. None of us expected you to be what you have become."

"I was a child when you knew me during the Dominion occupation," Damar confessed. "To give my rebellion the best chance of succeeding, I have to be a man."

"I've known men who remain children all their lives, never learning the lessons life tries to teach them. I'm glad you're not one of those. You have matured admirably."

Warmed by this, Damar smiled. "That's very kind of you to say. Thank you. I look forward to seeing you again, Odo."

"Yes," Odo nodded. "Good luck."

"You as well," Damar said then left the room.

Going back into the main room of the Infirmary, Damar saw Sisko standing near the door. Damar's heart thumped and he swallowed. Sisko, once his great enemy. Now allies meeting face to face. Sisko smiled at him, a surprising smile of understanding and sympathy.

"Legate Damar," Sisko said in a warm voice. "My condolences on the loss of your family."

"Thank you," Damar replied, taken aback. "But how did . . ."

"Garak told us," Sisko said.

"That must be devastating for you," O'Brien said, sounding truly sympathetic.

"It is," Damar replied. "I haven't had time to mourn them yet."

"To continue on that mission," Bashir said. "After receiving such news. That takes a considerable amount of strength."

"I didn't have a choice," Damar said. He looked at the doctor and saw sympathy and a certain measure of respect in his eyes.

"I apologize," Sisko said. "I didn't realize that you were looking for me."

"I didn't want to be impolite," Damar said. "By being on your station without at least greeting you."

"Well, I'm glad that I have this opportunity to thank you," Sisko said. "You've been a worthy ally and the Federation is grateful."

"That's good to know," Damar replied. "And I appreciate your support. I'm grateful that you sent Commander Kira and Odo and Mr. Garak to help us. They've been extremely valuable to us."

"I'm sure it hasn't been easy," Sisko said with a smile.

"We've had our difficulties," Damar admitted. "But we've managed to overcome them."

"And it shows," Sisko said. "Your strikes are starting to have a cumulative effect on the Dominion."

"That is what we're striving for," Damar smiled.

"Once we've figured out the technology of the Breen weapon," Sisko said. "We'll need to make arrangements to have your ships modified to withstand it."

"That would be appreciated."

"As soon as we're able, I'll send you a team of engineers and the necessary equipment for the modifications."

"I'll volunteer for that, sir," O'Brien said.

"Thank you, Chief O'Brien," Damar said.

"The least I can do," O'Brien shrugged. "The lot of us are tired of sitting around and twiddling our thumbs while you and the Klingons are out there in action. This weapon will finally allow us to get back into the thick of things."

Damar nodded. "I understand. I better get to the runabout. The others are waiting."

Each of them shook his hand, all sympathetic, and they made him feel for the first time truly united with his allies. 

As Damar left the Infirmary, O'Brien called out, "Keep up the good work."

"I'll do my best," Damar said.

Damar made his way to the landing pad feeling rather fortified. All of this turned out better than he had expected. Yes, he saw wariness and distrust but he had also seen a measure of respect in the eyes of those he had encountered. Damar had worked hard since the start of his rebellion to prove himself worthy of the leadership of his people and prove himself a worthy ally. It seemed as though his efforts were starting to pay off. He had never realized that putting aside personal feelings and old animosities could be so rewarding.

  


**********************

  


They were still in pain, Garak noted from his seat on the runabout. Kira sat silently, her thoughts undoubtedly lingering on Odo, and Damar still looked full of sorrow as he entered the runabout. But Garak looked closer. There was sorrow and pain in him but he also seemed pleased about something.

"I'm grateful that you decided to continue your mission to help us," Damar said as he took a seat next to Kira.

Kira only nodded as she fed in the data to launch the runabout from its pad. She still had a bit of trouble looking Damar in the eye, Garak noted and understood. She still felt guilty about challenging Damar and his perceptions of the past. It had taken Garak's breath away when she had turned Damar's words against in him in such a ruthless manner while Damar stood in shock and grief. Realizing the cruelty she had done, Kira, a deeply compassionate woman, had been clearly ashamed. Yet, Garak admired her ruthlessness. It needed to be said and Damar needed to have heard it. She had done him more good than harm. But it had been astonishingly cruel.

Damar did hear her and clearly understood and learned from it. Knowing his past, Garak had nearly expected him to light into Kira for so cruelly throwing his grief in his face or even to strike her for it. But he didn't. He had taken it like a man and had proved Garak's assessment of him. Damar was the man Garak hoped him to be. He was the man to lead a new Cardassia.

Garak couldn't help but admire the strength and courage of them both. She would have to get over her guilt and Damar would have to forgive her for her ruthlessness but Garak knew they were strong enough to do that.

They traveled in silence for a while, Damar occasionally glancing at Kira as though concerned about her. Like so many things about him, this once brutal thug, his thoughtfulness had been a surprise.

Garak, who couldn't abide silence for long, finally said, "What were you doing on the station all that time, Damar? Taking in the sights?"

"I was chasing the sual looking for Captain Sisko," Damar replied. "And speaking with some old acquaintances."

"Old acquaintances?" Garak asked. "What old acquaintances?"

Damar smiled then told them how Quark wanted him to regale his customers with stories about the rebellion and how Worf offered to help build peace between Cardassia and the Klingons after the war and how that gave him hope. He gave them the news about Martok becoming the High Chancellor. Garak listened to him talk with some amusement. For a Cardassian, Damar was actually a relatively quiet man and Garak had never seen him so talkative. Something happened on the station that lightened his mood. Damar said that he went and thanked Odo and spoke with Sisko and O'Brien and Bashir and listening to him, Garak realized what Damar was doing. He was trying to distract Kira from thinking about Odo and probably distracting himself from his grief. That was usually Garak's job, distracting people with talk.

"And Jake Sisko wanted to interview me," Damar said. 

"Ah, so that was why you were with him," Garak said.

"I didn't have time for the full interview he wanted so I told him a bit about the mission to capture the Breen weapon."

"Ah, Damar," Garak said. "The Federation has freedom of the press. You have to be careful about what you say around their reporters. Not all the details of that mission should come out."

"I'm not a fool, Garak," Damar said. "I was discrete. Mr. Sisko had a job to do and I felt I owed it to him to help him out."

"You wanted to be nice to him," Kira pointed out.

"Nice," Damar said. "Exactly. Garak, make a note of that for the history records. On this day, Legate Damar was actually nice to someone."

"I'll put it down with all of the other times you've been nice," Garak said with a chuckle.

Damar snorted. "What other times?"

"Saving Worf and Ezri's lives for a start," Garak said. "Though I suppose that was more than nice. I'll put that one down with the times you've been compassionate."

"Compassionate? That must be a short list."

"That's true. It is."

"Providing me with a cooling unit for the bunk room goes under being nice," Kira said.

"That was just Cardassian hospitality," Damar shrugged. "There's not much more I do to make you comfortable at the base."

"It was thoughtful of you and I appreciate it," Kira said.

Damar looked a bit surprised. "You're welcome."

"You've been making a habit of being thoughtful lately, Damar," Garak said. "You'll have to do something about that if you want to maintain your reputation as a hard, ruthless man."

"That's not a reputation I'm interested in maintaining," Damar said quietly.

"Why did Jake want to interview you?" Kira asked.

"Apparently the people of the Federation are curious about me for some reason."

"Well, of course they're curious," Garak said. "You were once the great enemy. You took everyone by surprise when you suddenly rebelled. Everyone wants to know why you did that."

"The reason should be obvious," Damar said.

"Yes, but they want to know your motivations. What happened that pushed you to it."

"That should be obvious as well."

"What's obvious, Damar," Kira said and Garak noticed a smile playing on her lips. "Is that, in your heart, you're a natural rebel. Always have been. Always will."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Damar asked.

"First with Dukat on that Klingon Bird of Prey, now this rebellion," Kira shrugged. "Admit it. For all of your talk about Cardassian order and stability, you really like roaming the galaxy wreaking havoc wherever you go."

Damar jerked a smile at that. "You know, you might be right about that."

Kira nodded, her eyes flashing with humor. Garak smiled. For the first time, those two had lightened up with each other. After everything they had gone through. An excellent sign.

"Did you know that we're effecting morale on the station?" Damar asked. "Quark said that, but after speaking with some of the others, I think he might be right."

"I'm sure it's been very frustrating," Kira said. "That the people on Deep Space Nine haven't been able to fight because of the Breen weapon. Morale was pretty low when the Defiant was destroyed. When you rebelled, you really helped turn that around. It gave people hope again having you fight on our side."

"I had no idea," Damar said. "I never considered how the rebellion was effecting the people of the Federation. They all seemed . . ." Damar hesitated and cleared his throat. "Well, it seems that I've earned some respect from them. I hadn't expected that."

Kira laughed and Damar scowled at her then looked away. He had taken the laugh the wrong way. Kira didn't laugh out of derision. She was humored by that for the same reason Garak was. Damar sometimes had an interesting naivete about him.

"Of course they respect you," Kira said. "Everyone knows how much courage it took for you to turn against the Dominion and now you've been successful at striking back at them."

"Yes but they all know me from . . ." Damar broke off again, looking uncomfortable.

"And now they all know you aren't the man you were," Kira said.

"I just didn't expect it," Damar said softly then looked away at the stars streaming on the view screen.

Garak understood. Trying to be a better man was still new to him. Damar was a selfish man learning to become selfless. He was a thug learning to be kind. He was a ruthless man learning what compassion meant. There was still much for him to learn but Damar's earnest dedication to learning to be a better man was admirable. Damar's maturity had come in great leaps and bounds and there were still parts of him trying to catch up to the rest of him.

They fell back into silence, Garak watching Damar's face move from confusion to a slight smile of contentment. Then his face suddenly crumbled and he bowed his head. Garak knew then that Damar thought about his family and the cruelty done to them. Garak felt hatred stir in his heart. Not against Damar but against the Dominion who had killed Damar's wife and child for the sole purpose of punishing Damar. Damar had been right in his lament. It was casually brutal.

They were full of pain and sorrow, Kira in her worry, Damar in his grief. But both were strong and resilient and would grow stronger from their pain. Knowing that their pain would not crush them, Garak felt a sense of hope. How could the rebellion not know victory under the leadership of these strong, dedicated people? In spite of themselves, they made a good team.

  


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